Marriage: To Have & To Hold

Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle. Growth is never by mere chance; it is the result of forces working together.

 

Unity in marriage is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity.Growth often demands a temporary or even permanent surrender of perceived security. 

 

It may mean giving up familiar but limiting patterns, safe but unrewarding work, values no longer believed in, and [relationships] that are not altogether good for us as a unit...relationships that have lost their meaning. It excites me to see our growth together <3 I love you and I am very proud of you <3

 

 "Therefore what God has joined together, let man not put asunder."

 

About Marriage:
Be NOT Dismayed-Every Once In A While-Something [will] come along to test the strength, commitment and the very foundation of [every] marriage.

Thus the meaning of the marital vows exchanged:
"For better or worse, in good times and in bad...In sickness and in health"

In the last 4 days we've both been reconditioned as to the very cord of love's strength, the power of faith and prayer, and commitment too where marriage is concerned.

And as commitment, faith and LOVE would have it, [WE] are still the soldiers-now turned champions of our marriage together. I've never been more proud to call my Husband Curtis. my Husband, than during the times where we hold on tight to each other and fight, pull and push each other through together- over the hurdles, the mountains and the challenges as they come upon us.

Couples Social Media Connections & Re-connections:
'Should We or Shouldn't We"??? 
Something To Think About-From A Couples' Standpoint
(c) 2012-2013 M. Leann Sowell

A note to the wise regarding connecting on Facebook and somehow developing the discernment of another persons intentions of wishing to connect with you.

Speaking from personal experience, not too long ago my dear Husband Curt and I had to make some pretty tough decisions on better developing how we connect as a couple with others we may meet along the way of our life together, as well as with persons out of our personal pasts. We had to follow our spirits strong urging to [not] connect altogether personally with just anyone...no matter the circumstances. As a Christian couple we are called to extend our hearts to be of encouragement to others. But unfortunately, some good intentions may not be in our personal best interests as a couple, if you look very closely at the occasional veneers-(a veneer of friendliness), of those you may feel a compassionate desire to be of some form of encouragement to.

Not everyone who comes knocking on your door will be a genuine visitor to a couples life. And that includes here in the interchanging and connecting cyber-world of Facebook. When the holy spirit urges you to step back and take heed to something that you are not altogether at peace with as an individual and or as a couple, we share a strong belief to follow that warning as best as we can without ignoring the 1st call to be a vessel of encouragement to others.

We live in a world where many who come knocking on your door are not necessarily what they appear to be. Thus the term, "Wolves in Sheep Clothing". As Husbands and Wives, those who are in committed relationships, etc...the 1st rule of thumb should be to keep your {Home} guarded. Remembering that people we may encounter along the way of life are still people and therefore may struggle with human nature that may not be altogether centered on what is honorable in regards to respecting another persons marriage, relationship, and or values and boundaries.

"Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor any thing that is thy neighbor's."

To covet is to have the strong desire for the possession of others' specific personal properties or relationships, going beyond simply admiring someone Else's possessions or thinking "I'd like to have one of those." Coveting includes envy - resenting the fact that others have what you don't.  So if your neighbor has a beautiful wife or in your eyes an attractive husband etc...and you begin thinking " I'd like to have him or her for my own," you are therefore coveting.

Another aspect my Husband and I have continued to discuss is the aspect of [awareness].  Awareness as to the subtle, underlying motives and or intentions of those who may wish to connect or reconnect with one or the other in an obviously committed relationship.   My Husband put it simply here recently as we have continued to exchange our thoughts and theories on this subject as it relates to connecting or reconnecting with persons of our past:

His theory is this:  "The moment it comes across my heart and mind that someones motives to connect or reconnect, is cause to question, this is the moment where I personally will lose some degree of trust, let alone interest to really interact; for the sake of what to me is my primary concern and priority as a grown, married man [today].  

If it is in relation to an old acquaintance, I am open to reconnect...as long as there has never been a reason given to me to question the motives of this persons wishing to reconnect with me and you [my wife]."

As a Wife to my Husband Curt, I am honored by his insight and I agree totally!    

My personal theory alongside my Husbands' is this:  There's enough information out there to basically understand that not everyone who comes knocking on your door via social media engines are always going to be what they seem.  If you listen very carefully you will see beyond the veneers of persons you interact with.  Personal boundaries where it comes to marriage is a very important element for couples to develop.  Always remembering that the Marital Yard and Circle are a couples number one priority.

And so, my advice to those who wish to connect or reconnect with persons who are in obviously committed relationships...marriage...romantically involved etc...

If you are in any way harboring some type of CRUSH on one of those persons in a relationship:

1.  Do NOT make the mistake of telling someone else about that crush... 
Because once the cat is out of the bag on this matter, it will most likely be the defining line on whether you will ever be wholly welcome into a real circle of friendship with a committed couple-if in fact the couple share a genuine and primary interest in Marital Boundaries as they pertain to outside influences.

2.  Educate yourself on the reality that people change, people grow, people evolve as they age and as life has managed to shape a person with time, experience, wisdom and the Lord's shaping grace.  By the living grace of God, married couples today are becoming more interested in securing the boundaries that encompass the healthy and sanctified institution of Marriage.

I personally count myself blessed to share a strong conviction with my wonderful Husband where it comes to listening to the warnings and signals in every matter and encounter with people that we share together as a couple.

 Living, Loving Life in Marriage:

(c) 2012-2013 Mina-Leann Sowell

My Personal Meditations on Marriage:

I have continued on in my journaling the amazing journey of what has become my own realization [today] about the institution of marriage and or committed relationships, given many of life's winding roads and circumstances. I cannot begin to express with just a few simple words the joy and yet bitter-sweetness of my own awareness that life will surely develop a person from one state of conscious being to another level entirely... over [time] and times tapestry of experiences in ones personal lifetime.

If I knew [then] what I know now today, I seriously doubt I would have taken a few of them thought to be [right] turns that were really [wrong] turns. But you live and you learn right? I have managed to travel back in time so to speak to make what for me was a personal amends to persons of any real significance along my hearts unique journey through life...making friends with the past you could say.

In doing so I found these re-encounters so to speak to be more of a blessing and confirmation, intriguing and fascinating me more-so today than my underdeveloped psyche could have possibly intelligently processed back then.

I often come across reminders that had I not taken a few of them wrong turns in my personal lifetime, I may have somehow missed the buses, trains, boats and planes... leading me to the very wonderful place I am at in my personal life today beside my wonderful Husband.

In my personal maturing I have come to gather a very powerful message about love, committed relationships and marriage:

When you truly [love] someone...'in love'...however one wishes to word it; many things become unthinkable, unstoppable and even unbreakable...no matter the circumstances.

But of course to each relationship his or her own allowances and such right?

Although the journey through thorny forests are an inevitable part of life that we as human beings often wish we could be spared, it is my personal belief and faith that we as individuals can indeed purpose ourselves to making it to the other side. The other side of life and existence where the horizon of a brighter future with that [one] special person we were born to become the other half to in a loving relationship, is indeed possible and just waiting for us to push through the dark forests of life to achieve happiness.

I call it [your soul mate]. Yesssssss I do believe in soulmates♥

I am so SO grateful that I made it through my own thorny forests to finally reach the horizon with my own soulmate...My sweet and loving Husband Curtis♥ However, that does not mean that there are not going to be anymore forests to push through...
But it is a whole lot easier to push through these dark forests with a strong and dedicated, committed travel companion... That's my theory anyway♥

"There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer, no disease that enough love will not heal, no door that enough love will not bridge, no wall that enough love will not throw down, no sin that enough love will not redeem... It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake.
A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all. If only you could love enough, you could be the happiest and most powerful being in the world..."
~Emmet Fox

From This Day Forward...

Embracing The Eternal Perspective

On Marriage

By Mina-Leann Sowell

                                                 

It is my belief that in today's fast-paced and chaotically distracting world around us, that marriage is at its knees because of the seemingly insurmountable challenges that can shake the institution of marriage to its core.

I believe in marriage and the God intended level of intimacy between a man and a woman.

I have come to understand that it is through prayer, a mutual joining of hearts inside the institution of the union of a man and a woman, that the union can stand its best chance at success and wholeness-"in good times and in bad...for better or worse...

in sickness and in health...til death..." 

	Genesis 2:24                 For this reason a man will leave                    his father and mother and be united to                   his wife, and they will become one flesh."

The longevity of marriage in our world today is sadly being undermined. The fruitfulness of marriage today is losing its appeal.  In my own personal experience of being married, I will attempt to contribute my own insight into the dilemma of the crumbling foundations of today's marital accord.

Absolute and undisturbed "marital bliss" would surely be the ideal.

I mean, who wouldn't give almost anything to harmoniously co-exist with their own version of perfection beneath the umbrella of pure marital bliss? If of course there is such a thing.

I believe that if God had really intended it that way then the majority of the human condition would be a lot worse off then what it already is.

Love, in its example of forgiveness, patience, long-suffering and understanding would become idly lost.  How would a couple celebrate that triumphant joy after having so far overcome the challenges that DO unfortunately confront marriages' today?

Without challenge there is no triumph. 

Without triumph there is no victory.  

Something to think about.